Cobh Pirates Tour 2008

CLUB TOUR MARCH 2008

COBH PIRATES RFC

CLUB TOUR 2008

GLOUCESTER, ENGLAND

ONCE MORE BOYS

ONCE MORE

If I never meet Roy Bates, I know what it will be like to stand outside the lotto H.Q. My good friend Gordon Soans picked me up in the sports car the morning of the tour and as we cruised up the drive of the Paddock all we could see and hear were lads laughing and joking. A thought came into my mind, I was often at a circus but i was never in the ring. Disembarked from the sports car with difficulty, low seats for cruising and the beam of the garda's torch won't reach in I presumed. It was all Hail Fellow Well Met and into the clubhouse. You'll have a light libation the electrician said with that quizzical look he always has on his face when he's looking for a victim, I will says I, start of tour. "Big crowd going"said one of the lads incredulously, this is where you would wonder are you wasting your sweetness on the desert air after all the tour meetings etc. Anyway buses up to the airport and more refreshments whilst impressing on the players that they had two games the weekend coming, the importance of early nights proper diet etc.I heard a guffaw but i put that down to nervous tension as most top class athletes get before important competiton, either that or the foxy prop had cracked a joke.Arrived in Brum on the bus and headed for Gloucester on the journey one of the alikadoos suggested thet we stop at an imbibing emporium because he felt thet the players needed to relax after the flight.The committee had a hurried meeting and felt that it was an excellent idea taking players welfare into account.One of the committee remarked that said alakidoo surprised him with his concern,another committee member threw his eyes up to whatever that meant.

Reached the hotel,early night now lads the Team Manager reminded the players.I tell ye the way they scurried to their rooms impressed me,and I remarked on this to the committee how keen the players were to get settled down etc.They all threw their eyes up to heaven and I started wondering had they some kind of affliction.Up for breakfast Sat. morning and I thought to myself that it was rather quiet in the restaurant.Then the penny dropped they're probably gone for a swim or to the gym after an early breakfast. Good lads I thought.The bus was to leave at 11 o'clock sharp, because we were on a tight scheduele wanting to see Ireland v Wales in the six nations, and play our own game as well. Considering we ahd given everyone a printed itinerary I thought we would have no prblem. How wrong I was, now I know how Roger Casement felt "Alone all alone on a wave was led strand" as we waited patiently by the bus. One of the committee who fancies himself as a bit of an eco warrior commented that a rain forest had been cut down to provide us with the paper we had given the lads. I suggested more in hope than anything that it might have been jet lag. To a man they all threw their eyes up to heaven, I thought to myself that's a terrible afflication, I must try and get them something for that, maybe the power of prayer or to be more christian in their thinking.

Lads started arriving in dribs and drabs not properly attired the dress code being Pirate shirt and tie. What time are we leaving at one of the players asked whlst rubbing his eyes, I thought he'd want to be careful there considering the smell of "Hai Karate" that was wafting through the air he might burn his eyes with any residue left on his paws. Anyway procured shirts and ties and left for Gloucester Old Boys clubhouse. To say the atmosphere was muted on the bus is an understatement ,some players looked to be asleep.Commented to the committee how lads could be so relaxed before a match more eyes up to heaven,must get them some tablets for that I mused.Getting togged off the Team Manager asked me had I a fag box.Was he taking up cigarettes I asked reminding him of his ongoing years.No I want to pick the team with a withering look,maybe I insulted him,well he is getting on in years .Time and tide wait for no man.Whilst I mention something nautical there,his buddy has been made a commodore or a or a Rinn Ronin something of that ilk and has taken to wearing souwesters with logos bearing "Southern Balltbrassil" and "Western Cuskinny" etc. anyway I digress.

We have a tradition before every tour match that we sing either "The Holy Ground" or "The Railway", it is always led by the carpenter from Newtown and I hope it is a tradition we will always uphold both the song and the singer it would bring a tear to your eye. Played the match and won and played well. I must put a lot of it down to the tactical astuteness of the manager, wisdom comes with age. The hurlers on the ditch whose encouragement was awe inspiring looked most relaxed whilst slouching someone said hanging on to the metal bars surrounding the pitch. Before I go any further I must congratulate the two men from the "Pail" sorry "Pale" ones a bucket the other is the colour they turn when they see the Blood and Bandage. Only joking lads, the man from the "Model County" played with his two sons which was an exceptional feat, well done lads also well done to the man who used always shop in Arnotts and stood many's a cold day and evening on Hill 16 and in Donnybrook.

A great night ensued it never ceases to amaze me the vast array of talents we posess in Cobh wheter it to be talking swahili singing sean nos, speaking in tongues or laying down the of course we did have some senior thespians with us. The next morning the turn out for breakfast was quiet again, one of the waitresses wondered was it the way th grub was bad. One of the committee replied that the lads were probobaly having a lie in after the hard game they had played the previous day. The waitress threw her eyes up to heaven, I thought its not only an Irish affliction so. The sight that greeted us as we gathered for the bus was not awe inspiring to say the least. Some of the players looked a little dishevelled and I presumed that they must have went to the pictures after we left the clubhouse. Some of the alikadoos were missing and when we enquired as to their wherabouts the retort was that the electrician said thery were gone to have a look around and that to keep an eye out for them, that they would be by a landmark. Fair play to the lads for checking outa bit of culture. Set off and there thay were outside an imbibing emporium, we wondered was it the site of a famous battle or had the building been a church in its former life considering their reluctance to leave said building.

Getting togged off a lot of the players seemed to have been struck down with a lot of ailments ranging from scurvy to hamstrings. The manager seemed to have little sympathy and I must say that his attitude was most unchristian like. We won again, thanks to the tactical awareness of the Manager, by unleashing four young Engish lads when our lads were getting tired. One of the hurlers on the ditch said it was all about timing and rhythm and balance and that the Manager was an expert on said matters. A great night ensued and the sounds of "Holy Ground" were to be heard all over Gloucester. Left the next day and we were diverted to Dublin which put a bit of a damper on proceedings considering there was a sherry reception awaiting us in the Paddock.

The electrician said you must be philosophical about these things, words of wisdom indeed. Right time to wrap it up, the candle is flickering. Before I sing off I have some people to thank first and foremost the tour commitee, Kieran McKeown, Tony O' Malley and Paul Kenny without whom there would be no tour, well done lads. Secondly Mr. Ross Ellis of Gloucester Old Boys who was a tremendous help to us and a great host. Thanks Ross. I want to thank Cobh Pirates R.F.C. all the lads who sold the tickets, the man from the six counties for the devils brew and last but by no means least everybody that went on the tour for being godd craic, good company and good friends.

P.S. Never got that cup of tea from the pilot and next time the man from the Holy Ground might succumb to having a table quiz. Oíche Maith

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